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Alyaksandr Sotnik has a Rat virus

The rat doesn't want to get sick. Since February 6, the Kremlin has tightened the rules for screening participants in events with the participation of President Vladimir Putin. These additional measures are related to the coronavirus raging in China. On the eve, Channel One released a story that our Donald Trump may have been behind the outbreak of the epidemic for a long time: they say, this red-haired Joker is encrypted in the very name of the virus. Once he handed out crowns to beauties, and now he let a deadly infection on China. Task number one: prevent our bald genius from infecting this sore. Turn on your vigilance and put on medical masks on your muzzles! The popular Lubyanka remedy: wait for the full moon, spit on the Constitution three times, squeeze a spruce twig in your teeth and strangle a freshly caught foreign agent with three Orthodox fingers.

The boys did not have time to dance on the ceiling with joy because of the accomplished Brexit - as troubles fell asleep "raspberries" on the most Kremlin stars. The Turks began to seize Russian-Syrian military bases, shooting Putin's mercenaries in Syria along the way. And on the M4 highway, US troops refuse to let the Russian military through their checkpoints. NATO calls this a "tactical blocking" of territories around American troops. “Every day here it seems that everyone in this area can start shooting at each other. But when the Turks and Syrians began to directly fire at each other's positions, it became obvious that the free movement of potentially hostile forces could further worsen the situation, ”the military department explained. There is no longer any question of joint patrolling with the participation of Russians and Turks: here, as it were, there is no open clash…

But this is not the main problem either. Not long ago, Putin, in an embrace with Erdogan, triumphantly unscrewed the valve of the Turkish Stream, and now it turned out that Turkey has sharply reduced purchases of Russian gas. The decline compared to 2018 was about 40%. As a result, Turkey left the top 3 buyers of Russian gas for the first time in 13 years. Thus, the United States is blocking Nord Stream 2, which has already become "golden" for the falling price of Gazprom, Erdogan reduces the level of gas supplies from his side, and the Power of Siberia in the Chinese direction is completely zeroed out, turning into Miller's Powerlessness. ... The Kremlin no longer knows whether to rejoice at Trump's impeachment in the US Senate or wear mourning suits. And then, after the long-awaited Brexit, bad hints began to come from Roma Abramovich that not today - tomorrow his bourgeois-Kremlin udder will be probed by the inquisitive law enforcement agencies of the Queen of England. And the soul has oxidized - so much so that at least invite Lukashenko to Lugovoy for tea, because this is the last chance for at least some victory with territorial expansion.

Over the past year, the number of supporters of integration with Russia in the Republic of Belarus has decreased by 20%, which means that the percentage of "bulbo-fascists" has increased by exactly the same amount. Yes, and the "dad" himself is increasingly beginning to look like a "collective farm Bulbo-Fuhrer". And if earlier he simply didn’t have enough of our oil, now he did go all out, throwing himself into the arms of the American devil Mike Pompeo. The Kremlin angrily swallowed the pill and again did not supply Belarus with barrel dirt, desperately using the usual oil lever. I had to deliver 2 million barrels, but delivered 500 thousand. Sorry, Luka, it happened. And you do not infuriate the owner of our gas station until he turned on his resentment at full power, as did the caveman of Kuzbass, who did not want to pay alimony, and burned his problem to the ground along with his ex-wife and two children. Burned to death. Our morals are wild and our character is flammable.

But we are ready to reconsider our fraternal impulses, which are sideways for us. “We need to take responsibility for those 70 years when we, the regions of Russia, fed the Baltic states, Ukraine and other republics and cleaned everything out of these Russian regions, creating an industry there, teaching the language and many other things,” said Viacheslav Volodin. The Speaker of the State Duma noted that the result of this approach was that in 1991, after the collapse of the USSR, the Russian economy "fell lower" than during the 1917 revolution, and now "the president has to collect it bit by bit." Schizophrenia cuts the truth-womb. Forgotten "Soviet aid to fraternal Africa" ​​and "comrade Cuba", do not recall the financial injections into terrorist monkeys in "arafats". This selective memory is in conflict with Putin's undisguised intentions to drag Ukraine and Belarus back into his gloomy special cave, swinging a sovkopithek's tenacious paw at the hated Baltic countries. Both hemispheres of the genius of Kremlin thought smoke and spark with tension, killing logic to death. And, in principle, why do savages need logic? They have a goal, and for it they will sacrifice anything. There is no time for politeses. "Let the horse think - it has a big head, but for us it will do well ..." The main thing for us is for Medvedev to come up with a new position for employment, and also to establish senators for life. It would be nice if their places were passed on by inheritance, and in general - it's time to think about the soul, so that a couple of thousand souls for our officials would not harm ...

And you, Russian, pray. On Putin, so that he would live longer, and so that the Pindosskaya disease would not catch him, and that snipers would sit on each roof, shooting evil spies, and so that the flood would not wash you away and burn you, and so that moisture would descend on the dying Crimea. And then come home, boil potatoes, fields with palm oil, eat ersatz sausage, have a snack with a plastic cucumber, drink surrogate vodka and lie on the sofa watching the TV. He will show you - and how the heads of the Voivode rise, and how the enemies are scared to death, and what you have achieved under the leadership of the leader. And what will you achieve tomorrow. If destined to survive in the era of the rat-virus…

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Alexander Vladimirovich Sotnik (born 1968) - Russian writer, publicist, performer of obscene yard songs, radio and TV announcer, Youtube video blogger broadcasting about Russia from abroad.

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